How can two tiny little people who sleep 20+ hours per day require 20+ hours of their parents being awake to take care of them? I think I may have to give a gentle slap upside the head to the next person who helpfully suggests, “Sleep when the baby(ies) sleeps.” Right. As if there’s nothing else that has to happen at some point, like: cleaning bottles, doing baby laundry, preparing forumula, breast pumping (for mommy), organizing various baby supplies and accessories all over the place, shopping, feeding ourselves, showering (optional), doing our own laundry, housekeeping, maintaining the yard, tending to the dogs, connecting with family and friends so we don’t become recluses, nurturing our marriage, writing, paying bills, selling dope to pay for— I’ve said too much. So, when somone comes up with a way to do all those things while sleeping, I’d be more than happy to sleep when my babies sleep.

On the very bright side, we just got some help. Our baby nurse started work today, so we’re planning a week of full-time help to ease into this two-newborns-at-once thing, and then she’ll help with nights for a few months so our babies can survive and thrive without us turning into ill-tempered zombies. That’s the goal, anyway.